by Craig Wiesner – San Mateo Daily Journal
In 1988 I had just returned from Australia and was sitting in a circle with a group planning a national gathering of More Light Presbyterians (MLP). “More Light” was inspired by John Robinson, spiritual leader of pilgrims about to sail on the Mayflower in 1646. He encouraged them to be open to new religious teachings, that God would continue to reveal more “truth and light.” Centuries later, these modern-day Presbyterians believed that light included fully welcoming LGBTQ people into the church.
Individual Presbyterians had been working for LGBTQ inclusion since the 1970s, and First Presbyterian Church Palo Alto (FPC Palo Alto) was planning a national conference. Folks in that afternoon’s circle were asked to share why they were getting involved. Steeped in social justice movements throughout its 100+ year history, women’s rights, civil rights for people of color, ending the Vietnam War, supporting farmworkers, helping Salvadoran refugees, and protecting the environment, LGBTQ advocacy seemed a natural cause for FPC Palo Alto, and folks mentioned that history inspiring them. On my turn I said “I’m here with my boyfriend” and pointed at my now husband Derrick. I was jet lagged and unlike everyone else I had no experience in social justice movements. I had recently left the Air Force after eight years as a linguist, intelligence analyst, and instructor. A few folks in that circle had been wondering why Derrick was there and now they knew. It wasn’t that he was closeted in that church. He chose this church knowing he’d be welcome. But he had not “come out” to everyone in that circle yet. He was out now because of his severely jet-lagged boyfriend
Derrick and I were the first gay couple to have a wedding ceremony in that church in 1990 and became strong advocates for LGBTQ rights. Years later, in 2008, MLP selected us to receive the David Sindt Award. In 1974, Sindt courageously began the More Light movement when he stood outside the Presbyterian Church USA (PCUSA) national General Assembly holding a giant sign asking “Is anyone else out there gay?” The award dinner would be in June, during that year’s General Assembly. In May 2008 the California Supreme Court ruled that barring same sex marriage violated the state’s constitution. Derrick and I hatched a plan! We stood in line early one morning at the San Mateo County Clerk’s office with dozens of other same sex couples and became the first couple to get a marriage license with “Party A” and “Party B” as the two signatories, instead of the standard “bride” and “groom.” A week later, after we were handed the award, we invited the minister who had performed our wedding in 1990, and others who had helped lead that wedding, to come up, sign the license, and make our marriage legal. We had kept it all a surprise and the audience roared in approval! It was one of the sweetest moments in our lives.
The next day, the Layman, an official newspaper of the organization fighting against LGBTQ inclusion, featured a huge photo of us on their front page which their managing editor had taken, decrying what we had done. It was a great photo! For years we joked that we would recommend him as a fabulous gay wedding photographer.
Shortly after that exhilarating experience my husband and I started working on two election campaigns, one to support Senator Barrack Obama who was running for president and another to defeat Proposition 8, a ballot initiative that would once again ban gay marriage in California. We had “hope we could believe in ” with Obama and had been assured by organizers against Proposition 8 that with a little work in the right places it would be defeated.
In the last days before the November election, while in a car full of volunteers canvassing in Nevada, one person asked “What do you think will happen with Prop 8?” A woman in the backseat said she had voted yes. Stunned silence followed. Someone finally asked her why. “Our pastor told us that he’d be forced to perform gay marriages or we’d lose our church.” That was not true but, as disinformation often does, it worked. On November 4th, 2008 Obama was elected president and Proposition 8 passed, a bittersweet election night.
In 2015 the U.S. Supreme Court made marriage equality the law of the land. Now another election looms and this gay veteran will be working to keep those rights, defend and restore other human rights and freedoms that are on the line. Thank you to every city and town in our county, and San Mateo County itself, for raising Progress/Pride flags in June. In actions like this, David Sindt has his answer. He was NOT alone and there’s still more light to shine. Shine on!
Craig Wiesner is the co-owner of Reach And Teach, a book, toy, and cultural gift shop on San Carlos Avenue in San Carlos.
Presbyterian Outlook Story Covering 2008 Marriage License Signing
The Layman Story Covering 2008 Marriage License Signing