by Craig Wiesner – San Mateo Daily Journal – Feb 3, 2025
Paying subscribers to this invaluable community resource, the Daily Journal, get the benefit of being able to comment upon articles and columns online. When I first became a regular columnist, rather than an irregular one (roughage helps), I responded to a comment someone made. A friend who had seen the interchange came into the shop and suggested that I leave commenting to the readers. I have mostly followed her advice and allowed the community to carry on their discussions without my weighing in. One recent comment on my “dream” column, though, sparked me to write this column! I’m grateful that Hamas has begun to release hostages and Israel has initiated a cease fire. Parts of my dream speech from that column came to be! I pray that this is a first step towards a lasting peace. The commenter, though, took issue with me sharing aspects about my identity, saying “You being a gay Jewish man is irrelevant” and demanded that I “stop acting like a victim.” I would say “ouch” but the reality is that I’ve heard this many times in my life, mostly from white, heterosexual, non-Jewish, cisgender males. For the record, though I sometimes use the word “survivor” for the childhood physical, psychological and sexual violence I endured, along with discrimination, I consider myself a champion for overcoming all that, not a victim. I note my many intersecting identities and life experiences because they strongly influence the lens through which I see the world, which helps form my opinions about the issues confronting us.
I once attended a lectureship led by Old Testament Biblical scholar, Professor Walter Bruggermann, during which he talked a lot about “hermeneutics,” examining the lens through which biblical texts are interpreted. A group of attendees later discussed the idea that beyond biblical texts, our life experiences influence the lens through which we see everything. I have the privilege of writing a column that upwards of 80,000 people may read. Why am I writing? I’m hoping to have some influence on this beautiful, wild, unpredictable, fascinating, frightening, and amazing world. Simply stating an opinion about an issue, taking a stand on something, complaining or complimenting, without sharing how I came to that position, letting folks know the lens through which I see and experience things, is not acceptable to me. I wish that everyone would take a few moments, before stating their opinion, to share even a little bit of how they came to that position, how their lens influenced them. I know someone reading this right now will say that it doesn’t matter. My lens tells me that it does. I can listen with more empathy, and more openly to your opinion, if I know a bit more about you, especially if my position is completely different.
A wonderful man in our congregation took me aside one afternoon after church. He had attended a meeting where people were discussing LGBTQIA+ rights and was horrified when several people at that meeting said terrible things about gays. He spoke out at that meeting, sharing that he knew, loved and respected gay people in his congregation and that denying us equal rights was unacceptable. Other attendees were surprised that this white, heterosexual, silver-haired, suit and tie wearing lifelong Presbyterian man was not on the same page as them. He told me that he had never understood why, whenever my husband and I participated in a church event, it was more likely than not that we would share that we were gay. He had always wondered why we had to do that and in that moment, at that meeting, he understood. And, recognizing the power he had in that moment because of who he was and how he presented, he stood up for us. This same man was a fierce opponent of California’s high speed rail project. One evening at a potluck he told me about his life experiences in engineering, construction and project management, all of which influenced his opinion on California’s high speed rail, and therefore, mine.
So, unless some new experience tells me otherwise, you’ll be getting my lens along with my ideas, and maybe even a few more dreams. While I’m limited to 800 words for each column, there is more than enough room in online comments for you to share a bit more about yourself and how your experiences influence your feelings about what you’ve just read. If you’re not already a subscriber, please sign up! Your financial support of this newspaper also gives you the opportunity to share your thoughts, and, who knows, something you say online might spark an entirely new column by me or one of my wonderful colleagues. OR, perhaps you’ll try writing a guest column. Your life, your experiences, your opinions and YOU matter. Write on!